ok so i come on here every once in a while when i need a good slap in the face to get me back on track. im not going to say i have been doing bad because life is pretty good for me i live with the man i love and his kids and im going to school i have money and i have maintained my weight durring this like almost 2 month binge. its what it used to be i used to be able to just eat a little bit and then i would throw it up and then one day i went on a binge that  i have never expierenced. i ate a whole pizza just so i could throw it up. ahhhhh what has happened to me i have never wanted to put so much food as i have in the past 2 months. bufftes, cookies cake ahhh i dont even want to talk   about it. 99 percent of it has been thrown up but i just cant stop. i did really good for about 6 months with no binging and no purging but then at the last two months i took it to extreme, eating less than 800 cals a day, no soda no juice no bread no candy no pizza just grilled chicken breast and salad with musturd instead of dressing because it has no cals.  the i restriced even more till i had lost about 30 lbs in two months! any way i wish that i could go back to that grilled chicken a salad. 3 times a day with nothing to eat after 5 oclock. but when i do good for about a week or so then i have to binge. im sick of wanting to lose weight and not having the will to do it. any way i think ill try again. i want to lose about 25 more lbs then i will look sooo amazing. yea

well this is my first journal entry as you can see.  I have really enjoyed the week that i have been a member here. all the girls that i have met have been so helpful and soo supportive and thank you to all of  my friends who are reading this.... im here for you any time that you need.  as for me im a west cost girl stuck in the south. dont get me to wrong i met the love of my life here but i fucking hate this place it sucks the life out of people. i know im expierencing it right now. 
ive had an ed for about 3 years now and it didnt start out as ana. I was mia for about 2 years not because i was to fat or whatever but i was so fucking stressed out i would just binge and binge and binge till one day i was like fuck i have gained soo much weight then i discovered the best stress reliever that i have ever know. aka the toilet. i was purging up to 10 times a day i just couldnt stop eating. any way then i moved down south and if any of you have ever lived here you know what i am talking about. the food no matter what it has to be fried, i hate it. so i gained even more weight till one day i was in class and i felt my stomach rumble and i thought to my self that is the best feeling i have ever felt. from then on i have gone in and out on dates with ana and i love my self so much more when i am hungry and loosing weight then when i stuff my face with food i dont need.  well thanks for listening